So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
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Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
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Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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