My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
