That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
