everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
