you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
