it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
