dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
