I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
