David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
