I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
