btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
