I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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