hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
