My brain says no but my pants say off.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
