some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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