i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
