sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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