am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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