What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
