Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
