There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
