a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
