he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
