my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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