im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
