..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
