Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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