I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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