you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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