When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize