I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
