What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
