So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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