video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
