It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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