Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
