So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
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5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
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the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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