btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
