The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
