Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
