I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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