i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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