I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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