no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
