love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
