Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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