I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
