We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
