But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
