i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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