I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
