Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
