Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
im holly from the hills drunk
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
