she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
