mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
