i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
