Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I have demons in me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
