Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
