I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
