don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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