my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize